Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The "C" Word

Last year, on December 24th, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. You hear the word "cancer" all of the time, but I assure you it takes on a whole new meaning when it's used with a family members' name in the same sentence. At the time, I was 5 months pregnant with the girls. That day, as we went through the motions of the traditional "Noche Buena", there was a dark cloud in the room... it was the "C" word. We never really talked about it which is odd because in my family, we talk about EVERYTHING! I later found out that everyone purposely kept things from me to keep me from being stressed out. It's not easy incubating two human beings during the winter of the dreaded Swine Flu. But I remember standing in the shower Christmas morning, letting the water fall on me while I just cried . This was not any type of crying, friends. This was the type of crying you did only when you where a little kid and something catastrophic happened that made you feel like the world would never be the same again. I remember crying like this when TGIF was cancelled. What would I do without the Full House/ Family Matters combo on Friday nights? It's crying with complete abandonment.
As I cried in the shower that morning, I realized that if the "C" word got its way, my daughters would only hear about their "lita" in past tense, I would not have the best friend I had come to know in my adulthood, and the world would have lost one of the most faithful women to ever exist. Was this really happening to US?
The remainder of my pregnancy was not what I imagined it would be. I needed to be taken care of by my mom and she needed to be taken care of by me. Ironically, neither one of us where in any condition to be taking care of anyone! In all reality, the one taking care of us ALL was God, though at the time it seemed like he was hiding.It is because of Him, though, that we can look forward to the upcoming holiday season with the confidence to say that my mother is cancer free.
We celebrated my mom's victory over the "C" word through the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk last month. But as I looked around at the friends and family that had gathered in support of Team "Lita", I realized something important. We were not just celebrating the strength of my mother as an individual (although she never showed a moment of weakness throughout her treatment), but we were celebrating the family that God had somehow created while we were busy worrying. There stood my oldest brother Raul, his wife Rachel (who by now had become more of a big sister to me) and baby Noah- the nephew we had waited for for so long. Next to them was my brother Roly and his new wife Mailin- the woman I always knew my brother deserved. Then there was Geoff and I with Chloe and Olivia. How had this family survived without their giggles and smiles for so long? Holding my mother's hand was my father. He had been by her side from day one, quietly keeping the family together as he always does.WE had not only survived, but thrived under circumstances that many families would crumble under.
So this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the "C" word. Thank you for allowing us to learn that we are stronger than we ever imagined. That a family united is something to be reckoned with. That God's plan for our lives will overpower all logic, science and yes even the "C" word.