Ooooh! We're Halfway There! Wooah, Living on a Prayer!

I have to admit something. Every now and then I stop and I think to myself, "What was God thinking when he decided I should carry and raise twins?" I've literally NEVER in my life carried an infant much less changed a diaper. And the most experience I've had caring for children was when I was a little girl and I would put tissues on each of my stuffed animals before I went to bed so that they wouldn't get cold at night. (True story).You see, I was the youngest child in my family and so my job growing up was to be adorable, get spoiled and get my brothers in trouble as much as possible. So when I saw those two lima beans show up at that first ultrasound back in August of '09, I instantly hoped that all of those women who said that once you become a mom you just naturally "know" what to do were right. Otherwise, Geoff and I were going to have to sell our house and move in to my mothers house until the girls were old enough to fend for themselves!I had no idea how to be a mom. I don't know how to teach someone how to tie their shoe and I honestly don't know the lyrics to "I'm a Little Teapot".Thankfully, with a mixture of extensive research as well as that elusive "motherly instinct", I have finally and successfully reached the halfway mark to my first year as a mommy.
When sharing my experiences as a mother of twins, I've had people say to me "Wow! I could never do what you're doing!" Don't be fooled! I like to think of myself as a duck: calm, cool and collected above the surface but with my little feet treading water at 100 mph underneath. I think as a parent, you always second guess yourself. I always wonder if the air conditioner is too cold or if the girls are comfortable in their car seats. I go to sleep sometimes thinking I might've spent too much time with with Olivia that day and wonder if Chloe thinks I favor her sister. I even think about the possibility that one day they will hate their names and want to change them to something less common like Penelope or Pheobe. But as I sit here watching my girls sleep in their bouncy chairs on the night of their "half birthday", I think to myself " You done good, Grace Johnson. You done good!". The girls are happy, healthy and best of all- completely loved and adored by Geoff and I. Now I'm pretty sure we will make mistakes in the future as we've done in the past. For example-apparently, not having a clean diaper ready to go when changing a dirty one will lead to a doodie splatter effect on the wall that will force you to repaint that nursery wall in its entirety. But I can honestly say that Geoff and I have spent the majority of the past 6 months laughing at ourselves and each other. I laugh at him for playing the air trumpet every time the girls get sad-even in public. And he thinks I'm crazy for narrating everything through song like I'm starting in my own Broadway musical. (The girl's absolutely love the "we're going to change your stinky diaper" song- so the joke's on him!). The bottom line is this, God didn't chose me- he chose US. He chose us because we're a great team. I stay up late washing bottles and folding laundry and he wakes up early to give the girls their medicine and make their 6 AM bottle. He likes to child proof every corner of the house despite the fact that the girls are not yet crawling and I like to enhance their sense of individuality by allowing them to choose their outfits in the morning. (You do this by laying a few options out and letting them grab, kick or spit up on the outfit of their "choosing"). I freak out about using chemicals in the house and he runs out to get every non-chemical cleaner available in the market to replace our old stuff at 11 o'clock at night. He is the peanut to my jelly. The Batman to my Batgirl. The Ricky Ricardo to my Lucy. We are a team. So lately, I don't find myself wondering why God chose me, but rather thanking God for choosing US. No, we are not the perfect parents but we love those girls. And at the end of the day you have to just say, "Oh well, I'll just have to remember to put that diaper on tighter next time I'm wearing light khaki pants in a very public place.....".

Silver Linings

I find a lot of times that when Geoff and I tell people that we have twins, they look at us with pity in their eyes and say, "Wow! How do you guys do it?! You must NEVER sleep!". Or every now and again, someone will unoriginally say, " Well, you two must have your hands full all the time...literally! HA HA HA!".Despite what may seem like a perfectly normal response to someone stating that they have twins, I always find a bit of a morose undertone to their responses. It's as if Geoff and I have been infected with the Black Plague- though with a much cuter package. Or as if we've had to sit through a Hannah Montana concert with Justin Beiber as the opening act! It's two cute, adorable babies- not two cases of poison ivy in a difficult to reach area! The truth is, I don't know what it's like to only have one child. And so for Geoff and I, having our two daughters is as normal as Taco Tuesday. (Wait, not everyone eats Tacos every Tuesday??? Interesting.....) Now, don't get me wrong, there are certainly some days that are more challenging than others. For example, I wasn't thrilled the day Chloe and Olivia decided to have simultaneous blow-outs the size of the People's Republic of China just as we had run out of what seemed to be an endless supply of wipes from Costco. I also don't necessarily enjoy it when both Chloe and Olivia decide they're both going to go on a napping strike, only to have a meltdown so high pitched at night that all the dogs in the neighborhood come running to our front door. But to be perfectly honest, there is more good than bad in my day to day life.So for those of you who may secretly worry about our sanity , I have decided to write about just three of the many benefits of being parents to twins.

1. Free Entertainment: Now, I dont know if you've been to a toy store lately, but there are TONS of things out there for your child's entertainment. From rattles to stuffed animals that talk to giraffes that smell like vanilla! It can be completely overwhelming to think about what you should buy your baby that they won't be completely bored of in 3 minutes. For me, I simply place that girls on the floor or in their playpen and it is only a matter of minutes before they begin to "LOL". Now, sometimes Chloe tries to suck on Olivia's foot and occasionally Olivia climbs on top of Chloe, thereby creating a less than pleasant situation. But in general, the girls play with, hug and simply entertain each other long enough for me to wash bottles, do some laundry, or catch the last few minutes of Barefoot Contessa as she drenches something already delicious in chocolate ganache.

2. Instant Family: In the matter of two minutes (Chloe was born at 1:27 and Olivia at 1:28), we instantly went from a family of two to a family of four. For many people, this is the ideal number for a family. There are usually four chairs at a restaurant table, most Disney rides allow groups of four at a time, and most cars comfortably sit four passengers. The world is made for families of four. Now, I can go for extra credit in a few years and add another bundle of joy to the world or we can choose to call it quits with the two. Either way, we've done our part to ensure the continuation of the human species. You're welcome.

3. Innate Sharing Abilities: My girls don't know what it's like to be a single child. They shared a womb, share a room and have shared just about everything that I have deemed acceptable for them to share. (They DO have color coded pacifiers that they most certainly do NOT share. But that's just common sense and basic sanitation!). We've all seen that poor kid in pre-k that has no friends because he or she doesn't want to let anyone build a Lincoln Logs house with them. That poor child mistakingly thinks that the world revolves around them, because up to that point- it has! I see the way Chloe looks at Olivia with concern when she is crying or how Olivia laughs with delight when Chloe takes the toy she was playing with away only to stick it in her mouth. These girls will be great sharers one day which is one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Wait no, thats not it. It's one of the things you're supposed to know that you learned in Kindergarten? No, thats not it either. I'm not sure what book it came from but it's important, ok! After all, sharing IS caring!

Well there are an endless list of perks to being a mother of twins. So the next time you see Geoff and I, don't think "Poor them!". Think " how can I get myself invited to that delicious Taco Tuesday!"