Thursday, April 26, 2012
The Binky Fairy
I’ll always remember that night. It was 11:30 at night and the cries and screams that where emanating from my daughters’ room where so loud and gruesome that I was certain the Department of Children and Families was going to be coming to our door the next morning. Geoff and I sat there in the dark on the floor, closing our eyes and hoping it would all just end. We were both near tears from exhaustion. Without him having to say a word I said, “ I know. We should have taken them away before their first birthday. We’re horrible parents. “
It was the girls’ first night after the “Binky Fairy” made her appearance at our house leaving behind some wooden blocks and a Dr. Seuss book and taking with her my daughters’ beloved binkies and apparently the hope of ever having a peaceful nights’ sleep EVER AGAIN. That night we wound up taking the girls on a midnight car trip hoping they would dose off and somehow forget about their rubber companions for that night. It worked…. eventually.
It took about a week for our daughters to mourn the loss of their beloved “tetes”. Every now and then, someone (usually Chloe) will still ask for it, only I pretend that they are asking me for something else. “Mami, TETEEEEE!!!” Chloe will yell. I’ll respond with “What’s that, Chloe, you want your vitamin?” She’s so excited that her Flinestones chewable is on its way that she forgets to give me a hard time for the obvious defiance to her very specific demand.
This experience makes a very important point for soon-to-be or new parents. No matter how “holier than thou” you may be as you read your parenting books and as you listen to your parenting podcasts while your child in utero- it’s a whole different ball game once the little guy or gal is out in the real world. My husband and I originally didn’t want to use pacifiers at all, but upon researching that it was good for the prevention of SIDS, we quickly went out and bought them in every shade and color so that they at least matched their adorable outfits. It was meant to be a temporary solution to my fears of them having been born premature, and slowly became a simple matter of survival. I’m certainly not a fan of the archaic notion that children are to be “seen and not heard”, but every now and then those binkies would give me something I had been dreaming of since the birth of my children- SILENCE. JUST A MINUTE OF SILENCE.
So when it became embarrassing to take the girls out after their 2nd birthday with the binkies in tow, we knew that it was time to face the piper and say goodbye to what had become to us members of our family. We brought them with us everywhere we went- from the grocery store to family vacations. They were there in times of laughter (like the first time the girls saw a monkey at the zoo) and times of sorrow (like every time we went to the doctor for vaccinations). We looked for them in desperation when they would go missing and rejoiced and thanked the Lord Almighty then they would reappear behind the crib or inside of a pair of shoes we hadn’t worn in a while. But sometimes you just know that it’s time to let go and you realize that these items that cost you roughly $5.00 will cost you thousands in orthodontic devices and appointments no matter how “teeth friendly” they promise to be on the package. But most importantly, the strong female that roars inside of me didn’t want my daughters to feel that their fears and anxieties would be taken away by anything other than toughing it out and praying through it. After all, isn’t it people with dependency issues that wind up on t.v. with Dr. Drew? (And I mean both Teen Mom and Celebrity Rehab, by the way.) I know I may be thinking too far ahead and definitely too dramatically, but these are the things that ran through my mind that horrible night as I sat in that dark room in the fetal position.
I’m proud to say that the girls are now 31 days “binky sober”. I have to admit that I’m prouder of myself than of them sometimes because every parent out there knows that it’s very easy to give in to your kids every whim if you’re not careful. But a good parent (or at least one that’s under construction) will suck it up, look their child in the eyes and firmly say to them, “Sorry darling, that mean Binky Fairy stole your binkies!”
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Three Decades and Counting
This past Wednesday was my 30th birthday. A major milestone like this instinctively makes you stop and reflect. What have I learned and accomplished in the past 3 decades? What can I look forward to in the future? All in all, in restrospect, I feel that I've done pretty well. I am happily married with 2 amazing little girls and a job that I actually enjoy. Some people might call that "the good life" and those people would be right. But the road to this life was not a perfect one. I've made mistakes in these past 30 years and that is the purpose of this blog. My intention here is simple: learn from my mistakes. And if you giggle once or twice at my lack of judgment then so be it. Here are some important lessons I've learned in my life so far:
1.Always squeeze the first bit of ketchup over a sink. No matter how hard you shake the bottle- if you skip this integral step- you will always wind up getting that clear, slimy ketchup juice on your hotdog or burger- and that’s gross.
2.If you think you’re in labor, then you probably are. Don’t wait for your husband to confirm your suspicions- especially if he’s asleep.
3.If you are very awkward and unpopular in middle school, don’t worry. You can redo your past. It will only cost you a college degree and a decent salary, but it can be done.
4.If you find yourself engulfed in a nation of red ants at the park, then DO panic. Unlike most wild animals, ants will NOT go away if you just stay still or play dead.
5.I know you really want your big brother to play with you, but if he offers to play “Cowboy” with you, you need to run away. If you agree, then HE will become the Cowboy and YOU will become his horse. On a brighter note, the scar under your chin will heal nicely and be almost invisible by the time you’re 30!
6.Don’t ever cut your own bangs. Especially if you are under the age of 5.
7.Don’t be absent from school unless it’s absolutely necessary. I was absent when they taught us Roman Numerals and I have paid a hefty price. I never know what Superbowl we’re in and that’s not cool.
8.Sleep whenever you can before you have kids.Once you have kids, you will spend the first few years of their lives wishing you could've taken those hours you stayed up in college and have “banked” them for your present life. No matter how much you pray, God can’t reimburse you sleep time. Trust me, I’ve tried.
9.Diet soda can never taste like regular soda. Seriously, it’s scientifically impossible. Just drink water and move on with your life.
10.No matter how easy Martha Stewart makes a craft look on T.V., there’s no way you can pull that off if you have been artistically challengd all of your life. Remember, those are trained professionals and you just can’t compete with that. Just buy it on ETSY and say it’s homemade. Nobody said it had to be YOUR home…
Now, I don't expect these to be etched into two stone tablets any time soon, but I still think what we've done here is quite valuable. I hope I've helped somebody here, because there's nothing worse than a ruined hotdog.
1.Always squeeze the first bit of ketchup over a sink. No matter how hard you shake the bottle- if you skip this integral step- you will always wind up getting that clear, slimy ketchup juice on your hotdog or burger- and that’s gross.
2.If you think you’re in labor, then you probably are. Don’t wait for your husband to confirm your suspicions- especially if he’s asleep.
3.If you are very awkward and unpopular in middle school, don’t worry. You can redo your past. It will only cost you a college degree and a decent salary, but it can be done.
4.If you find yourself engulfed in a nation of red ants at the park, then DO panic. Unlike most wild animals, ants will NOT go away if you just stay still or play dead.
5.I know you really want your big brother to play with you, but if he offers to play “Cowboy” with you, you need to run away. If you agree, then HE will become the Cowboy and YOU will become his horse. On a brighter note, the scar under your chin will heal nicely and be almost invisible by the time you’re 30!
6.Don’t ever cut your own bangs. Especially if you are under the age of 5.
7.Don’t be absent from school unless it’s absolutely necessary. I was absent when they taught us Roman Numerals and I have paid a hefty price. I never know what Superbowl we’re in and that’s not cool.
8.Sleep whenever you can before you have kids.Once you have kids, you will spend the first few years of their lives wishing you could've taken those hours you stayed up in college and have “banked” them for your present life. No matter how much you pray, God can’t reimburse you sleep time. Trust me, I’ve tried.
9.Diet soda can never taste like regular soda. Seriously, it’s scientifically impossible. Just drink water and move on with your life.
10.No matter how easy Martha Stewart makes a craft look on T.V., there’s no way you can pull that off if you have been artistically challengd all of your life. Remember, those are trained professionals and you just can’t compete with that. Just buy it on ETSY and say it’s homemade. Nobody said it had to be YOUR home…
Now, I don't expect these to be etched into two stone tablets any time soon, but I still think what we've done here is quite valuable. I hope I've helped somebody here, because there's nothing worse than a ruined hotdog.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Geoducks & Flashlights
A few years ago, when I used to be able to watch tv that did not include cartoon characters, I came aross an Anthony's Bordaine's "No Reservations" episode where they highlighted the Geoduck (pronounced "gooey duck"). I sat there in awe learning about this mullusk that can live to be over 100 years old and apparently is a culnary delicacy. I was completely shocked to realize that I had gone through life sharing this planet with the Geoduck and not even realizing it. Watching the show, I was in awe of how it looked, how it was caught and the way it was prepared to eat. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to be amazed at the sight of something new, and it was a feeling I was glad to submerge myself into.
As we get older, we somehow begin to think that we know everything there is to know and that we've seen everything there is to see. One of the greatests parts of being a parent is seeing the look in your child's eyes when they see or discover something new. For example, in a struggle to change Chloe's diaper one night, I handed her the closest object I could reach, which happened to be a flashlight. The look on her face as she turned it on and realized that a light shone from that object that would project itself on the ceiling and that SHE could control by moving her wrist was priceless.We quickly brought out a second flashligh for Livie and spent the next hour laying on our backs in their dark bedroom listening to them giggle while they played with those flashlights. It was a perfect moment, and I was reminded of how amazing it must be to be a baby and to see something new for the first time. That night, the girls had a "Geoduck" experience. They discovered something new and were excited to learn that something so amazing existed.
In our first few years of life, we are filled wit "Geoduck" experiences: the first time you set foot on the soft sand of a beach, the first time you go to Disney World and shake Mickey Mouse's hand, the first time you sink your teeth into a McDonald's french fry. These are all amazing experiences that blow our toddler minds but somehow lose their luster as the years go by. As we grow older, it becomes harder for us to be amazed and in some cases difficult for us to admit that what we've experienced was amazing. We're so wrapped up in showing how knowledgeable we are that we forget how amazing it can be to learn or simply ENJOY something new.
So this year I don't want to make a ton of New Year's Resolutions about losing weight, staying organized or learning a foreign language. I simply want to resolve to go through my daily life with the eyes of a toddler. To appreciate each experience as though it was the first time and to find enjoyment in even the simplest of things. I resolve to look for those "geoducks" that will blow my mind and remind me of just how little I know about this world. I promise to embrace those flashlight moments and never be too busy to lay on the floor in the dark and watch the light shine above me.
As we get older, we somehow begin to think that we know everything there is to know and that we've seen everything there is to see. One of the greatests parts of being a parent is seeing the look in your child's eyes when they see or discover something new. For example, in a struggle to change Chloe's diaper one night, I handed her the closest object I could reach, which happened to be a flashlight. The look on her face as she turned it on and realized that a light shone from that object that would project itself on the ceiling and that SHE could control by moving her wrist was priceless.We quickly brought out a second flashligh for Livie and spent the next hour laying on our backs in their dark bedroom listening to them giggle while they played with those flashlights. It was a perfect moment, and I was reminded of how amazing it must be to be a baby and to see something new for the first time. That night, the girls had a "Geoduck" experience. They discovered something new and were excited to learn that something so amazing existed.
In our first few years of life, we are filled wit "Geoduck" experiences: the first time you set foot on the soft sand of a beach, the first time you go to Disney World and shake Mickey Mouse's hand, the first time you sink your teeth into a McDonald's french fry. These are all amazing experiences that blow our toddler minds but somehow lose their luster as the years go by. As we grow older, it becomes harder for us to be amazed and in some cases difficult for us to admit that what we've experienced was amazing. We're so wrapped up in showing how knowledgeable we are that we forget how amazing it can be to learn or simply ENJOY something new.
So this year I don't want to make a ton of New Year's Resolutions about losing weight, staying organized or learning a foreign language. I simply want to resolve to go through my daily life with the eyes of a toddler. To appreciate each experience as though it was the first time and to find enjoyment in even the simplest of things. I resolve to look for those "geoducks" that will blow my mind and remind me of just how little I know about this world. I promise to embrace those flashlight moments and never be too busy to lay on the floor in the dark and watch the light shine above me.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Blood, Sweat and Tears
Well, it finally happened. Our first drop of blood was shed- our introduction to the wonderful world of stitches. Some of you may be wondering-"What happened?!" while others ask, "what took you so long???" I'll spare you the details, mainly because it's actually a very dull story, but those of you who know my family will be shocked to know that it was Livie, not Chloe who received her first battle wound in life.
A moment like that which we had yesterday will teach you a lot of things, and being that I am a teacher, I'm constantly looking for the "lessons" in life. The first thing I learned was that I would be a horrible paramedic or first responder of any kind. When I noticed that my daughter was bleeding, my first reaction, of course, was to panic. That panic sent me into a freeze montage not unlike those we used to enjoy in "Saved By the Bell", when Zack Morris would further explain the complex plot sequence through a monalogue. The world stood still and there I was, completely unable to determine what I should do next. I tell you this so that you know that should you EVER have ANY emergency of ANY sort, you should NOT call me. Don't call me because apparently, I will be of absolutely no service to you and the stress of it all will most likely damage our relationship.
Luckily, Geoff was standing by and was able to add some perspective to what I was pretty sure was Armageddon. Seriously, I thought I heard the trumpets cry from heaven, but in hindsight, it must have been the sound of me screaming that "Livie's hurt!".
The next thing that I learned is that you shouldn't judge Ms. Olivia by her petite stature. That little girl is quite the trooper. In fact, she stopped crying LOOOONG before my hands stopped shaking and didn't even flinch when the doctor put the glue on her head. (I know its not actually glue- yet another reason why I should NOT be a paramedic). That little doodle is fierce, and I have to say I was proud to see her up and playing tea time just 3 minutes after the incident occurred. Seriously, I was still holding a washcloth to her wound, trying to get the bleeding to stop and she was upset that she couldn't reach her teacup! Now, the fact that I know that she is tough is NOT going to affect me hovering over her whenever possible to impede a future event of this caliber from happening. But it's good to know that when the going gets tough- she can take it. And all I can say to that is, "that's my girl!".
Lastly, I've learned that as much as I helicopter these girls, there is nothing I can do to keep them from getting hurt in life. I'm sure this wont be the only time someone in my household will be getting stitches, and the day will come when they are teenagers and I will have no choice but to let them make their own wrong choices. When that time comes, like this incident, I'll continue to be ill prepared to hear my daughters cry, knowing that there is nothing I can do about it. I will probably be more upset than them about what is happening and I will also, much like I do for the stitches, blame myself for their pain. But, such is the life of a mother. Your daughters pain becomes your pain and that pain becomes your sleepless night. But for now, the scare is over and I think I'm a better mother for it. I just hope I can finish bubble-wrapping the house before the new year.
A moment like that which we had yesterday will teach you a lot of things, and being that I am a teacher, I'm constantly looking for the "lessons" in life. The first thing I learned was that I would be a horrible paramedic or first responder of any kind. When I noticed that my daughter was bleeding, my first reaction, of course, was to panic. That panic sent me into a freeze montage not unlike those we used to enjoy in "Saved By the Bell", when Zack Morris would further explain the complex plot sequence through a monalogue. The world stood still and there I was, completely unable to determine what I should do next. I tell you this so that you know that should you EVER have ANY emergency of ANY sort, you should NOT call me. Don't call me because apparently, I will be of absolutely no service to you and the stress of it all will most likely damage our relationship.
Luckily, Geoff was standing by and was able to add some perspective to what I was pretty sure was Armageddon. Seriously, I thought I heard the trumpets cry from heaven, but in hindsight, it must have been the sound of me screaming that "Livie's hurt!".
The next thing that I learned is that you shouldn't judge Ms. Olivia by her petite stature. That little girl is quite the trooper. In fact, she stopped crying LOOOONG before my hands stopped shaking and didn't even flinch when the doctor put the glue on her head. (I know its not actually glue- yet another reason why I should NOT be a paramedic). That little doodle is fierce, and I have to say I was proud to see her up and playing tea time just 3 minutes after the incident occurred. Seriously, I was still holding a washcloth to her wound, trying to get the bleeding to stop and she was upset that she couldn't reach her teacup! Now, the fact that I know that she is tough is NOT going to affect me hovering over her whenever possible to impede a future event of this caliber from happening. But it's good to know that when the going gets tough- she can take it. And all I can say to that is, "that's my girl!".
Lastly, I've learned that as much as I helicopter these girls, there is nothing I can do to keep them from getting hurt in life. I'm sure this wont be the only time someone in my household will be getting stitches, and the day will come when they are teenagers and I will have no choice but to let them make their own wrong choices. When that time comes, like this incident, I'll continue to be ill prepared to hear my daughters cry, knowing that there is nothing I can do about it. I will probably be more upset than them about what is happening and I will also, much like I do for the stitches, blame myself for their pain. But, such is the life of a mother. Your daughters pain becomes your pain and that pain becomes your sleepless night. But for now, the scare is over and I think I'm a better mother for it. I just hope I can finish bubble-wrapping the house before the new year.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Salt and Pepper
When you hear the word "twins", what do you think of? Two identical human beings who walk the same, talk the same, think the same- or at the very least look the same, right? When I first found out I was having twins, I imagined the rest of my life to be like that Double-Mint gum commercial from the 1990's. You know, the one that showed two identical blonde girls, dressed the same and riding a bicycle built for two. Thats what I thought twins were supposed to be like. Isn's that what I learned in 5th grade human growth and development?
When Chloe and Olivia were first born, they certainly looked like twins. In fact, I know for a fact, that on more than one occassion, I fed Chloe twice and Livie not at all because I mixed them up. (Not my proudest moment, but one I'm willing to admit to.) Looking back on it, most babies kind of look the same when they are born. They're all bald (except for my nephew Noah who could do Pantene commercials from the hospital nursery),have those blue/gray eyes and spend most of their time sleeping and pooping. But as time has progressed, I find it harder and harder to convince people that my girls are twins. Heck, if I were to be honest with myself I would admit that its hard for me to convince MYSELF that they are twins. Other than the fact that they once shared my belly, there is nothing "twinny" about these girls.
Livie is what I call my "Zen" baby. She is calm and composed and has no problem playing tea time by herself if mom and dad are trying to get the house cleaned up. Chloe, on the other hand, practices her different screams throughout the day to see which one receives the most results and will not think twice about making your ears bleed if you cross her even once. So if you have the nerve to try to feed her or change her diaper or hug her when she is not in the mood, then prepare for a meltdown of epic proportions. Livie will then, of course, walk up to her sister mid-tantrum and stick a binkie in her mouth. She too seems to prefer the silence- like mommy does. But Chloe, despite her unnecessarily strong will is also full of energy and excitement. She jumps and dances and laughs with complete abandonment when you make a funny face. Livie makes you work for a laugh- she prefers the classics like a good knock-knock joke or a perfectly impromptu game of peek-a-boo. Their personalities are so different but when they come together, it makes total sense. Chloe adds fun and spontaneity to Olivia's day and Olivia calms Chloe and sits her down to "read" a book when she could see that mommy can take no more. They are a perfect pair, balancing each other out like a home-made recipe for perfectly moist cake.
As if their personality types weren't different enough, they also don't look very much alike- at all. Frankly, they barely look like sisters, much less twins. Livie has my face, with Geoff's long, lean body. She has my big brown eyes and my eyebrows (don't worry baby, there will be many more advancements in electrolysis by the time you're old enough to stress about it). She laughs like me and is sneaky like I used to be when I was little. But her "Zen Baby" personality is totally Geoff. Then there's Chloe- or "Geoff Jr." as she has been referred to more than once. With those beautiful blue eyes, she is the female version of her father. But, she has my body type and sadly, my personality. I don't like to think of it as a harsher character, but rather, more passionate... that's what I tell myself, anyway. They are the perfect hybrids of Geoff and I, equally representing us both so as to not make either one of us jealous. (Good looking out girls, cause mommy and daddy can be quite competitive.)
I once heard a comedian tell a joke about fraternal twins.It went something like this, " Fraternal twins are creepy. You see if you are baking, and you put chocolate batter into a cupcake mold, then you can expect to get a tray of chocolate cupcakes. Thats what identical twins are like. But with fraternal twins, you put in the chocolate batter and you come out with a chocolate cupcake and a vanilla cupcake and thats simply not natural". Although I laughed until I cried when I heard that joke, I can't help but disagree with this poor fool. Variety is the spice of life,my friends. And Chloe and Olivia are my salt and pepper-they make my life delicious!
When Chloe and Olivia were first born, they certainly looked like twins. In fact, I know for a fact, that on more than one occassion, I fed Chloe twice and Livie not at all because I mixed them up. (Not my proudest moment, but one I'm willing to admit to.) Looking back on it, most babies kind of look the same when they are born. They're all bald (except for my nephew Noah who could do Pantene commercials from the hospital nursery),have those blue/gray eyes and spend most of their time sleeping and pooping. But as time has progressed, I find it harder and harder to convince people that my girls are twins. Heck, if I were to be honest with myself I would admit that its hard for me to convince MYSELF that they are twins. Other than the fact that they once shared my belly, there is nothing "twinny" about these girls.
Livie is what I call my "Zen" baby. She is calm and composed and has no problem playing tea time by herself if mom and dad are trying to get the house cleaned up. Chloe, on the other hand, practices her different screams throughout the day to see which one receives the most results and will not think twice about making your ears bleed if you cross her even once. So if you have the nerve to try to feed her or change her diaper or hug her when she is not in the mood, then prepare for a meltdown of epic proportions. Livie will then, of course, walk up to her sister mid-tantrum and stick a binkie in her mouth. She too seems to prefer the silence- like mommy does. But Chloe, despite her unnecessarily strong will is also full of energy and excitement. She jumps and dances and laughs with complete abandonment when you make a funny face. Livie makes you work for a laugh- she prefers the classics like a good knock-knock joke or a perfectly impromptu game of peek-a-boo. Their personalities are so different but when they come together, it makes total sense. Chloe adds fun and spontaneity to Olivia's day and Olivia calms Chloe and sits her down to "read" a book when she could see that mommy can take no more. They are a perfect pair, balancing each other out like a home-made recipe for perfectly moist cake.
As if their personality types weren't different enough, they also don't look very much alike- at all. Frankly, they barely look like sisters, much less twins. Livie has my face, with Geoff's long, lean body. She has my big brown eyes and my eyebrows (don't worry baby, there will be many more advancements in electrolysis by the time you're old enough to stress about it). She laughs like me and is sneaky like I used to be when I was little. But her "Zen Baby" personality is totally Geoff. Then there's Chloe- or "Geoff Jr." as she has been referred to more than once. With those beautiful blue eyes, she is the female version of her father. But, she has my body type and sadly, my personality. I don't like to think of it as a harsher character, but rather, more passionate... that's what I tell myself, anyway. They are the perfect hybrids of Geoff and I, equally representing us both so as to not make either one of us jealous. (Good looking out girls, cause mommy and daddy can be quite competitive.)
I once heard a comedian tell a joke about fraternal twins.It went something like this, " Fraternal twins are creepy. You see if you are baking, and you put chocolate batter into a cupcake mold, then you can expect to get a tray of chocolate cupcakes. Thats what identical twins are like. But with fraternal twins, you put in the chocolate batter and you come out with a chocolate cupcake and a vanilla cupcake and thats simply not natural". Although I laughed until I cried when I heard that joke, I can't help but disagree with this poor fool. Variety is the spice of life,my friends. And Chloe and Olivia are my salt and pepper-they make my life delicious!
Friday, May 6, 2011
The Death of "Cool"
One of my students called me "mommy" today. Something so cute would flatter most teachers- after all, a "mommy" is the Yoda of all teachers.But still, this mistake, though most likely meaningless to the student, sent me through a loop so twisted I needed breadcrumbs to find my way out. I outwardly smiled to ease his embarrassment, but inwardly went into a frenzy...since when did I become "mom-confusion" material??? Now, I remember a time in the not-so-distant past that I was being asked to the Eighth Grade Dance, not being mistaken for someone's mother! I mourned silently... for the death of cool.
There are a lot of things you give up as a mom: sleep, peace-of mind, tight stomach muscles (that may just be me) but coolness? Really?! There have been many symptoms of the degenerative disease known as "uncoolness", but I guess I simply ignored the signs. There was the time I caught myself listening to "Delilah" on Coast FM, and shortly thereafter I recall a phone call to my husband asking him to bring a mini-van home for the weekend. I can no longer listen to WU-Tang Clan without being distracted by the unnecessary use of violence and profanity. A few weeks back, I stumbled into Aeropostale and spent the next 30 minutes rambling to my husband about the importance of appropriate hem lines and the "fingertip rule" for when our daughters get older. Could it be I've lost my "edge"?
In college, I used to drink Mountain Dew from the time I woke up in the morning to the time my head hit the pillow after a night out with the girls. The thought of drinking caffein after 4 frightens me for I know I'll be up all night thinking about whether or not private school is really worth the money when it comes to looking for preschools. And chicken wings? My ex-favorite food- are too spicy for THIS sad Mexican. (As I write this, my Aztec ancestors all rolled over in their pyramids).
So like Robert Frost, I now see that "two roads are diverging in the woods". I can take the road to the right and submit to my new found "uncoolness" or fight the good fight for some "mojo". I can continue to wear shoes because they're comfortable despite their lack of aesthetic appeal or SUCK IT UP and head back to my nearest Charles David. I can stop singing children's songs to myself all day or dust off my Green Day, Weezer and Pearl Jam CDs. I can begin buying those "my family" stickers for the back of my car or slap the "Rolling Stones" symbol up on the back windshield instead...
Two roads diverge in the woods and I walk the road refusing to wear mom jeans and Keds... and that made all the difference.
There are a lot of things you give up as a mom: sleep, peace-of mind, tight stomach muscles (that may just be me) but coolness? Really?! There have been many symptoms of the degenerative disease known as "uncoolness", but I guess I simply ignored the signs. There was the time I caught myself listening to "Delilah" on Coast FM, and shortly thereafter I recall a phone call to my husband asking him to bring a mini-van home for the weekend. I can no longer listen to WU-Tang Clan without being distracted by the unnecessary use of violence and profanity. A few weeks back, I stumbled into Aeropostale and spent the next 30 minutes rambling to my husband about the importance of appropriate hem lines and the "fingertip rule" for when our daughters get older. Could it be I've lost my "edge"?
In college, I used to drink Mountain Dew from the time I woke up in the morning to the time my head hit the pillow after a night out with the girls. The thought of drinking caffein after 4 frightens me for I know I'll be up all night thinking about whether or not private school is really worth the money when it comes to looking for preschools. And chicken wings? My ex-favorite food- are too spicy for THIS sad Mexican. (As I write this, my Aztec ancestors all rolled over in their pyramids).
So like Robert Frost, I now see that "two roads are diverging in the woods". I can take the road to the right and submit to my new found "uncoolness" or fight the good fight for some "mojo". I can continue to wear shoes because they're comfortable despite their lack of aesthetic appeal or SUCK IT UP and head back to my nearest Charles David. I can stop singing children's songs to myself all day or dust off my Green Day, Weezer and Pearl Jam CDs. I can begin buying those "my family" stickers for the back of my car or slap the "Rolling Stones" symbol up on the back windshield instead...
Two roads diverge in the woods and I walk the road refusing to wear mom jeans and Keds... and that made all the difference.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Letter to My Daughters
In less than 1 week, Chloe and Olivia will be turning one. This fact is a bittersweet one for me. On the one hand, I am overjoyed at the notion that Geoff and I survived what has been the most difficult task I have been given in my life thus far. On the other hand, I am saddened at the thought that those tiny babies who would let me hold them for hours are now just a memory. People always tell you that is all goes by so quickly, but when you are in the trenches it sometimes feels eternal. I did my best to enjoy every moment- every smile, every new milestone, every hug. But inevitably, time won! (As it always does.) My babies are no longer babies- but rather, toddlers.
In the spirit of "springing forward" (hope you all set your clocks up an hour), I wanted to take a glimpse into the future and put on paper some advice I would like my daughters to have.
Dear Chloe and Olivia,
The day we welcomed you into this world, we welcomed true happiness into the world. From the moment I became your mommy, my life changed. I felt lucky and blessed and to be honest, a little scared. I wasn't scared for myself but rather for you.I wanted to protect you from everything. Now, I know I can't go through life keeping you away from harm but here is some advice. You may not follow it all right away, but carry it in your heart in hopes that it will guide and comfort you one day in the future.
1. Be kind to everyone. Whether its opening a door for someone going into a building or saying please and thank you to a waiter- always be kind. Don't be kind because you want something in return but rather because being kind is what GOOD people do. And you are GOOD people.
2. You are beautifully unique. One day someone will come along and tell you to change who you are. Don't. It's easy to be like everyone else. It's being yourself at all times that shows character.
3. Don't be afraid to take chances. This was always a hard one for me. Whether its mixing stripes and polka dots in an outfit or studying in Italy for a year- DO IT! Those who live a life of fear, don't live at all.
4. Listen to your mommy. I know this may seem like a selfish rule, but its true. I would never do anything to harm you. I've been fortunate to have made many mistakes in my life so that you could learn from them. Consider this an advantage!
5. Fall in love with someone who deserves you. You are a prize. Any man who doesn't see that doesn't deserve you. The rule of thumb is: If his unconditional love and character reminds you of your daddy, then he's a keeper!
6. Don't be too serious. One day you'll no longer be a child. This does not mean you have to be boring. There is nothing wrong with playing in the rain or reading the comics before the headlines. Cartoons should always be a Saturday morning staple.
7. Work hard, but understand that there will always be someone richer or more powerful than you. This shouldn't discourage you. It should just remind you that money isn't everything and that faith and family are always more important.
8. Stay close to one another. I know being a twin isn't always fun, but only special people are chosen to come in twos. Your being twins is a gift from God. Love each other and take care of each other- even if your mad at each other.
9. Be compassionate. Just as there will always be someone more powerful and richer than you, there will always be someone less fortunate than you. Show love to the less fortunate because it's what Christ did. You should always work to be more like Christ.
10. Love God. To love someone, you have to get to know them. Read His word and attach yourself to people who love Him too. He will take care of you, even when mommy cant.
I hope these rules will help you one day and that you know that everything I do, I do out of love. I hope you will understand that in my eyes, you will always be my little babies.
I love you forever and ever,
Mommy
In the spirit of "springing forward" (hope you all set your clocks up an hour), I wanted to take a glimpse into the future and put on paper some advice I would like my daughters to have.
Dear Chloe and Olivia,
The day we welcomed you into this world, we welcomed true happiness into the world. From the moment I became your mommy, my life changed. I felt lucky and blessed and to be honest, a little scared. I wasn't scared for myself but rather for you.I wanted to protect you from everything. Now, I know I can't go through life keeping you away from harm but here is some advice. You may not follow it all right away, but carry it in your heart in hopes that it will guide and comfort you one day in the future.
1. Be kind to everyone. Whether its opening a door for someone going into a building or saying please and thank you to a waiter- always be kind. Don't be kind because you want something in return but rather because being kind is what GOOD people do. And you are GOOD people.
2. You are beautifully unique. One day someone will come along and tell you to change who you are. Don't. It's easy to be like everyone else. It's being yourself at all times that shows character.
3. Don't be afraid to take chances. This was always a hard one for me. Whether its mixing stripes and polka dots in an outfit or studying in Italy for a year- DO IT! Those who live a life of fear, don't live at all.
4. Listen to your mommy. I know this may seem like a selfish rule, but its true. I would never do anything to harm you. I've been fortunate to have made many mistakes in my life so that you could learn from them. Consider this an advantage!
5. Fall in love with someone who deserves you. You are a prize. Any man who doesn't see that doesn't deserve you. The rule of thumb is: If his unconditional love and character reminds you of your daddy, then he's a keeper!
6. Don't be too serious. One day you'll no longer be a child. This does not mean you have to be boring. There is nothing wrong with playing in the rain or reading the comics before the headlines. Cartoons should always be a Saturday morning staple.
7. Work hard, but understand that there will always be someone richer or more powerful than you. This shouldn't discourage you. It should just remind you that money isn't everything and that faith and family are always more important.
8. Stay close to one another. I know being a twin isn't always fun, but only special people are chosen to come in twos. Your being twins is a gift from God. Love each other and take care of each other- even if your mad at each other.
9. Be compassionate. Just as there will always be someone more powerful and richer than you, there will always be someone less fortunate than you. Show love to the less fortunate because it's what Christ did. You should always work to be more like Christ.
10. Love God. To love someone, you have to get to know them. Read His word and attach yourself to people who love Him too. He will take care of you, even when mommy cant.
I hope these rules will help you one day and that you know that everything I do, I do out of love. I hope you will understand that in my eyes, you will always be my little babies.
I love you forever and ever,
Mommy
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